Mid-Night Chat : Chapter Two

Aditya was devastated, his conscious was not able to absorb the words.

Revana – The girl he was talking since a year, even has a video chat before two days was dead; bot today but more than a year before. Hard to digest right. If he would only hear her voice or chatted over message it would not been heard, he could console his heart saying someone was faking herself as Revana. But they have talked so many times, for nights. She had waked her legs while taking, showed him how to put on makeup, changed dress after shower. No, no one can go to that extent to just have fun with someone.   

‘All these a prank, Revana planned to shock him’ he uttered himself with wet eyes.
Suddenly getting up from the bench he shouted, ‘Hey, I lose. Now come out. No need to hide. I lose….’ His voice was breaking. The girl standing near him was looking him with pity, she was not able to understand why he was behaving like that. Initially he thought him as just any fake guy just trying to woo Revana randomly but Aditya; his emotions were real, the red tearful eyes were telling all stories. 
Putting on Aditya’s shoulder she said, ‘Don’t cry, she is not going to come. We all cried long ago for her but she is gone. Revana has left us long back’.

Aditya turned his head, he could see the truth in her eyes but still his heart was not ready for that.

She continued, ‘Let’s go to the café, we can talk there’ and they walked out of the waiting room.

‘Here your water, take as sip’ offered him a glass with a smile.

Gulfing in a single breath Aditya took a deep sigh. ‘Sorry I didn’t introduce myself, I’m Aditya’

‘I’m Bhuvi’, she forwarded her hand.

Aditya looked into her eyes and with a smile shook her hand.

‘How do you know Revana, if you are comfortable to say’?

Silence spread for a moment!

‘It’s a long story, Same day a year before everything started – Aditya started narrating.

Finishing he pour water from the jug and took a little sip.

Bhuvi was speechless, everything Aditya told about Revana was true. Starting from her birth mark to her parent issue. Not a single sentence was made up – how much she knew about Revana.

Eyes wide open she kept staring at Aditya, ‘How’? a word came out of her lips ‘I was the one present when doctor declared her dead, when her parent fought over her dead body alleging each other for the reason of her death’. A drop of tear rollout, a started sobbing.

Bhuvi continued, ‘She was my best friend, a girl with a heart of an angel. Beauty not a single word of the dictionary can explain. That day still fresh in my memory, it was 2012 when I entered my hostel room for the first time, ROOM No 243. With the door opening Revana jumped from her bed and hug me hard, I was little uncomfortable at the moment but within next one hour she won my heart. That smiling face, who knew layer over so much pain. She never deserves all that.’ And broke to tears.
Aditya was listing every single word, he wanted to know Revana, more. Everything about her, not a single bit he can leave.
After comforting Bhumi began, ‘For the first semester I didn’t knew much about her past, all the trouble she was going through. I thought she was a cute innocent girl of a rich parent, who always make a way to bring cheer in others life. She helped everyone without even thing, she was just available for anyone needy. But no one stood for her ever, just took as much they can but that not stopped her from helping others.

It was the time when we have finished our and getting ready to go back to home for the vacation, but Revana had not packed anything. Not finding her in the room with her stuffs scattered around the room like any other day I started searching her, and saw her talking with the warden from the balcony.

‘Revana, what are you doing! Come pack your bags. Aren’t you going home?’ I asked.

Revana ran towards our room, rubbing her hand over her eyes. Coming closer I could see her tears. That was the first time I had seen her crying. Following her, ‘Hey what happened, did anyone told you anything thing’. She was not answering, burring her face between her keens she was crying, the sob was heart melting. Siting near her I tried to make her feel better rubbed, kept asking the reason. Half an hour passed and finally heard a word from her mouth “Worden didn’t allowed me to stay in hostel’ I didn’t understood! Why should she be staying in hostel in vacation? I asked, ‘Aren’t you going home’?

‘No’ Revana replied.

‘Why’? her answer shocked me.

And the answer she was going to give I had never thought of.

Revana, ‘Sorry darlo, I kept a lot of things hidden from you. I thought if I will tell my past than no one will talk to me, they will treat me like happen in my old collage, an outcast.’

‘Hey, what all you are saying. What ever happened with you, you will always be my best friend.’

Revana, ‘I am the elder daughter of my parents, just for the society. My mother married my step father when I was 3 years old. I knew my father was dead but I was happy when my mother told about my step-father and we were to be moved to his house. I had dream of getting fathers love again but little did I knew soon the mother who was the only love I had was going to abandon me.

The first day in my step-fathers house, I was feeling fear of staying in my room and kept crying to sleep with my mother. For the first time in my life I got a slap for asking for something! A tight slap from my step father threw me few step away, I was hurt, tear was flooding from my eyes but my mom didn’t even look at me. Leaving me behind she walked inside with his new husband. The sound of door shut shook my heart, kept staring at the door thing mom will run through the door hug her angel but that never happened and with the wet eyes I fall asleep on the ground.

Night was in its pike, the cold marvel floor had started if troll on my body, I was severing, not knowing what was happening, fear of the slap stopped me from calling mom. Folding my legs and hands I was trying to keep myself warm, a natural instinct that kept me alive that day or Bulby’s heavy fur. Next morning when I woke up I was hugging Bulby the Dog my step father ex-wife brought when she came to that house. Not so old but not young as well for a dogs age, from that day we made a quick bond for next few years till her last breath.

Years passed but the abuse never stopped, every time there was a fight between my step father and mother I was the one who got beaten. They call me the reason for all their trouble, a bad luck omen in their life. I got a step brother but never allowed to play with him, they didn’t want my site around him. Slowly things got routine for me, I stayed inside my room studying, playing with Bulby, he was getting older but still got some energy to play with me, cheer me up. I kept scoring top in all exams, all the completions, how much trophy I brought to the house they were never happy, they never cared. Just paying my fees and giving me a living to show the society that I’m not in bad condition. And inside the wall we are a happy family like they pretend outside.
It was a family function in our house, many of my step father’s relatives came that day. I was wearing a white pink kurta with golden embroidery. Playing with kids, I was happy that day because I knew no one will stop me before so many people from enjoying but my future in next few hours was going to change.

A guy be in 15 or 16 came before me. Forwarded his hand and I shook casually but the way he kept holding my hands made me feel awkward. Didn’t knew how to react and I left. But he kept staring at me at a strange way for the rest of the party. After everyone left few stayed for the day and he was there with his mother. He was my steps father’s nephew, son of her sister.
Near mid night when the house became silent I heard someone open my rooms door. In a scary voice I asked who was there and in reply a voice came, ‘Shhhh’. In the dark I could saw a figure walking towards my bed, the face was not visible and my heart started beating faster. In a while he scrolled over my bed, I was about to scream but his hand was holding my mouth tightly. At that time, I didn’t know what he was about to do, one hand over my mouth he forced his other hand inside my night pant and started rubbing. I was helpless, the strong figure had overpowered me. I was moving my body like a fish without water. My eyes were open, tear was falling-out when he unzipped his pant, for the first time I had saw a male penis, what he was about to do was the worst memory of my life, till date it haunts me down. He started his penis between my leg over my pant. I was feeling something was wrong happening with me and with all my strength pulled off hid and bite it hard and screamed out loudly. Even before anyone could come in Bulby ran into my room and seeing him over me jumped and pierced his sharp teeth on his leg.

My parents and their relative rushed into my room to see what happened. Till that moment he had already zipped in his pan and fallen on the ground holding his leg.

‘What happened’ my father asked.

Before I could speak anything my aunt spoke up, ‘Don’t you see, your ex-wife’s dog bite my son. Oh how much he is bleeding. Someone please call the doctor’ and hugged his son.

‘He just claimed over me and put his hand inside my pant and shut my moth tightly and rubbed his penis over me, here and showed them my legs’ everyone was shocked. My parents got frozen, my aunt face in a dilemma.

‘What rubbish she is talking; my son can’t do such thing. She is lying’ she shouted. Looking at his son she asked, ‘Son, tell me what happened’?

‘Mom, I was searching for water and when I came here the dog bite me’, He pretended with an innocent look.
     
‘No he is lying’ I tried to fought for my words. But all was vain. No one believed me. They accused Bulby for aggressive behaviour.

Aunty kept shouting, ‘The dog harmed my son, through her out of the house, kill her. I will never put foot in this house until she stays here.

And she won, no one listened to me, even my mother. Didn’t they have the least of brain that they thought a 7-year girl was lying of molested by someone. Didn’t they know Bulby never attacks anyone. I kept telling them Bolby is innocent but I was locked inside my room and next morning a man came and put an injection on Bulby making her sleep for ever. My Aunty was happy that day, my parents were also laughing with them. But no one cared, no one tried to know what really happened. I was molested in the night, but blamed as a liar, my oldest friend my Bulby was killed but no one thought why she took such extreme step to bite someone.

That day, I knew with my father’s death I lost my mother too. No whom I call mother is just my step fathers wife. Few days later they sent me to a boarding school, not knew how many time my relatives took advantage my innocence, the stamp my parents put on me as a liar. The same guy who tried to rape me again, somehow I got out of his hand but didn’t had the gut to tell others. Don’t know how many time I was molested; how many times I was touched in different parts of my body.’ And Revana cried out.

I was shocked, ‘She never told all that, kept everything hidden behind her smile for all these years.

Revana continued, ‘After my 14th birthday I stopped going home during vacation, stayed alone for years. Made my friends as family. Kept smiling to forget those painful moments. My parent never asked once why I didn’t want to come home. Kept sending my pocket money and fee in time. Never attained any PT meeting. I was the only kid sat alone during any function, no one in the crowd cheered for me whom I call as family.

Am ‘I so bad, am ‘I a bad omen. Why no one loves me. Why god only put torture in my fate. Why he kept me crying, force me to shed tear.’ Wiping her tear, ‘No I will not cry, I will show got that I can also smile, I don’t need him to put happiness in my lips’.

Revana – my respect for her increased hundred fold. Holding her face, I said, ‘Don’t worry, now you have a sister and no one is going to hurt you.’ And she smiled.
‘Now let me pack your belongings, you are coming with me to home, mom will be so happy to see you’. and in next hour we left for my house.

Bhuvi completed her story, her eyes were moist. And tears were filled on Aditya eyes.

To be continued…..

Mid-Night Chat

27^th April 2017, A day of Aditya’s  memory that can never e erased from his heart. Bored he was sliding through the suggestion list of facebook resting on the conference room of his office. Hour passed, he kept scrolling odwn; not a single face better than her ex-girlfriend, more to say ex-colleague who dumped him once got a chance for an onsite role(Truth is dont know how many times she slept with her manager for that.

And finally he came across-

A pretty face which may put moon to hide behind the cloud in shame, grace that can make angels fall from sky, lips to which the best rose of this realm can’t match. Aditya was enchanted by her beauty, kept staring like a spell bound bird. Zooming in zooming out he admired every little corner of the pic to find a loophole, to get an excuse to make himself to think No! she is not that good, just like any other girl he had seen; but this time he loose, his heart had already surrendered and didn’t took long for his brain to follow the steps.

With a long breath, click. He sent the friend request. His heart was beating faster like never happened before, an unknown nervousness was burning inside his, an unknown fear of rejection. But within minutes his faded face started glowing with the tine smile emerging from the corner of his lips. Revana has accepted his request and now he is able to see all her pics which were hidden previously. An angelic beauty, Aditya had no word to describe her. Not a single pickup line he had ever heard which can justify her beauty.

He was just humbling through Revana’s pictures when a message popped up.

Revana, ‘Hi’.

Aditya was not expecting, he thought he will message first after checking out her profile.

Aditya, ‘Hey’. ‘How are you’.

Typing…….

Revans, ‘I’m fine’. ‘You Say’

Typing again…….

Revana, ‘Do I know you’.

Aditya, ‘Hmm, not really but you should’

Revana, ‘And why so?’

Aditya, ‘it’s a secret, promise you will not say to any one’.

Typing……… (Aditya knew if she will reply back than she will become his)

Revana, ‘Oki, God wala promise (With a smiley).

Aditya, ‘I’m here to save the world’.

Revana, ‘From whom?’

Aditya, ‘Aliens, they are coming to kidnap the most beautiful girl of this planet’.

Revana, ‘Hahaha…. Funny and may I know who that girl is?’

Aditya, ‘It’s a girl named Revana, do you know where I can find her!’

Revana, ‘Hmm..she is my best friend, I can help you but..’

Aditya, ‘But…’

Revana, ‘But, Mr…how can I introduce you to my best friend without knowing you.’

Aditya, ‘Haha....sure sure’.

Revana, ‘98******43 my WhatsApp number, ping me over there’.

Aditya smiled, and added her number and pinged back.

Aditya, ‘Hey’.

Revana, ‘Hello Saviour’

Aditya, ‘So what are you doing’.

Revana, ‘You mean now or generally!’

Aditya, ‘Both (with a smiley)’

Revana, ‘Studding medicine, 2 year left. But currently chatting with a flirt’.

Aditya, ‘Ohh Doctor, btw thanks for the complement but don’t put an injection on me its really scary.

Revana, ‘Hahaha…Don’t worry.’

Aditya, ‘So, are you single’.

Revana, ‘You guess?’

Aditya, ‘I think yes’.

Revana, ‘And why?’

Aditya, ‘Heart said! You are waiting for someone’.

Revana, ‘Hmm…. you are right. Waiting but don’t know when we will meet.’

Aditya, ‘Soon’.

Revana, ‘Hope So. Can I call you?’

Aditya, ‘Sure, who want to miss the chance to talk to such a beautiful girl.’

Next second Aditya’s phone started buzzing.

As he put the speaker on his ear a beautiful voice floated in, a Bengali mix accent sweet as the rassagolla. They kept talking about their days their life and in the process Aditya forget the count of time. Suddenly when he received call from his cab driver saying he is making other late asking Revana to call after few minutes rushed towards the cab. Getting inside he hold breath and dialed back her number, it rang few times but no answer. Aditya thought she must have slept but before the last ring She picked up.

‘Hey, I was in the wash room. You reached the cab.’

‘Yes’

‘So how much time it will take you to reach home and for get to ask, you stay in a flat or a PG, with friends or alone?’

‘Arreee, wait wait…will answer everything’ and Revana giggled.

Just in few hours they were talking like year old friends. Revana told about her subjects in collage none of which was getting inside Aditya’s brain but still he kept listening.

With every passing day Aditya and Revana were coming closer. Nothing was hidden between them, Aditya’s break up to Rehana’s parent issue. Aditya has got someone to share his feelings and Rehana got a shoulder to support her tearful life.

Rehana always behaved like a little girl who was in seek of attention every single moment, she can’ttolerate if Aditya ignored her or didn’t listened, for her Aditya was only her and all his care only for her.

One day while talking Aditya, ‘Revana, you are so possessive, like you are my girlfriend’.

Aditya’s sentence was not completed; a sobbing was heard from the other side. Tear had started falling from Revans eyes. In a breaking voice, I you don’t love me, I’m nothing for you, everyone is same….no one loves Revana (Forget to mentioned! most of the time She indicate herself in third form). Just because Revana never proposed it doesn’t mean she is not in love with you, she loved you a lot baby, I want to be only your, never ever say these kind of this again or Revana will die. An awkward proposal.

‘Sorry baby, I was just joking. Revana know na, how much I love her.’ And tried to stop her cry, one hour and finally Revana became normal.

For the first time Aditya felt something odd, life a little madness. But he tried to ignore thinking girls becomes emotional in love.

6 months had passed in between; Aditya had officially proposed her. His life had changed a log after she enter in to her life, all the hurdles were melting down below his steps, his carrier was running with a great pace. Everything was going well.

One day Revana told she had her exam from next week, she was worried. She kept saying she had not read anything in the last semester, classes were driving her mad. Not a single page she was able to understand. She cried over the video call, Aditya could never see tear in her eyes, he had promised he will never let her cry but he failed. He said, ‘Don’t worry, whenever you study put the video call on and start studying so I will be with you and study will not scar my little girl’.

‘Really’, Revana giggled wiping her tear and started narrating her day.

Midnight 2.34 AM, Aditya phone started buzzing. Rubbing his sleepy eyes, he checked. Revana was on video call.

‘Hiiiii’ she said loudly.

‘hey girl, what are you doing at this time. Go to sleep.’

‘No naa, Revana will study. Babu promised he will look after me while studing.’

‘But now, I’ve ofc in morning baby’.

‘I don’t know, you promised and now giving excuse, and started making a crying face’.

‘Oki dear, you study I will wake up.’

‘Revana smiled and holding the phone in one hand put her bag and covering herself with a Sal walked out of the room.

‘Where are you going, you are supposed to be studying right’?

‘Yes, Revana is going to library, she doesn’t have the book she wants to study.’

Aditya put his hand on his head ‘Crazy girl’ and kept looking at her face while she walked slowly crossing the lane and other building.

There was an awkward silence in the background, dogs were barking from distance, the wind was shocking the leafs; that could have chilled anyone’s heart but Revana was walking without any fear, a smile was stuck on her lips like she was enjoying all that.

The library 24/7 open for the students, but no one was inside at that time, Revana’s feet walked towards a corner table in the other end of the library. Keeping her bag and mobile on the table she walked to grab a book. Now all Aditya was able to see was just the light bulb over the table but he could hear each step of Revana in the silence. Suddenly his ear heard a loud scream, a heartfelt cry to save. Aditya cried out calling Revana’s name, he was helpless nothing can he see, nothing he can do. Only the painful cry was tearing his ears. Tears were about to come from his eyes when a loud laugh shocked him, Revana was laughing holding the phone, teasing Aditya. Aditya can’t control his anger, ‘What the hell you were doing, are you a little girl. Don’t you know when to joke when to not. I was about to die here and you are smiling’.

Smile faded from her face, ‘Sorry babu, Revana will not repeat it again. But babu Revana wanted to do this from a long time.’ Aditya knew he can’t win over her in argument if she loses she will start crying. So he kept quiet and Revana started studying.

Time had started passing rapidly and again the time reach, when Revana and Aditya started taking for the first time a year before. But from the starting of that winter Revana was behaving quite differently, she stayed lost most of the time, depressed, talking about random topics of her past life. But Aditya was always able to make her smile.

3 days before the day they had met Revana says, what will you do I will die. A question whose answer Aditya didn’t had. He never thought of a life without her. He kept silence with his gaze fixed in her face. If we had not met a year before? Again Aditya had no answer. What if I would have died before meeting you. A drop of tear fell down from Aditya’s eyes.  Wiping from his cheek – Revana Please never ask me this, I can’t live without you, dot know why but in this one year you have become my life, your smile is the beat of my heart.

‘Meet me Revana on out anniversary than’ a straight demand.

‘Ok’ Aditya replied. And cut the call. He booked a flight ticket for the day after tomorrow and kept planning to make the day memorable.

Finally, the D day he arrived her place, the collage address she had given.

‘Revana, can you please call her’ he asked at the reception.

A lady in her mid-40’s replied, ‘You?’

‘I’m her friend’ Aditya responded.

Checking through the register she turned a page. Room no. 243. 3^rd floor Aditya prompted. Giving him a look she said, ‘Special friend’. And turned to the room numbers page.

After giving that a sight she again looked at Aditya face in an awkward expression. ‘Please do it quick’ he requested.

‘There is no one called Revana in that room.’

‘How this happen, she lived alone in that room’.

‘No, beta there is no one called Revana in that room’.

A girl was walking through the stare when she heard the name, Revana – Did you called Revana.

Both of them looked at the girl.

‘Yes, Revana, room No 243. Do you know her?’

‘Come with me’ and she took her towards the waiting room.

Unlocking her phone, she showed Revana’s pic and asked, ‘Is this whom you are searching’?

‘Yes’, she is my girlfriend.

‘Don’t lie please’ She gave an angry look.

‘What wrong with you guys, that Lady is saying Revana don’t stay here, you are not believing me. She asked me to come here, today is our first anniversary and she herself planned for today’s meet.’ Aditya took a deep breath.

The girl sat on the bench ‘How can this happen, it’s not possible’.

‘Why’? Aditya questioned.

‘Because she is died a year and half before’.

Aditya eyes were wide open; He didn’t know how to react. Was that a prank or what she was saying was true, questioned bombarded inside his head.

To be continued.......

In The Wolf's Cage: Finding Love In Second Chance

“Fate is like a strange, unpopular restaurant filled with odd little waiters who bring you things you never asked for and don't always like.”
― Lemony Snicket

It was during the summer after my post-graduation from Saint Stephen College Delhi when my fate was locked with a men whom I had never met. My father told me he was a nice guy, relatives congratulated me getting a well settled groom but no one asked what I was looking for. Just with a single glance to his picture for a while and I nodded my head like any good daughter would have done. But for keeping other happy I didn’t realised that I was going to strangle my dreams with own hands.
He was 10 years older to me a sub inspector in state police services which he got after giving entrance for 6 times and a hefty amount of bribe.  I saw him on our engagement day for the first time and with his behaviour I took him as gentleman and tried to create love for him inside my heart.
After the engagement we started talking over phone for hours like a couple in their first love. His humours talk and romantic lines were making me feel special. We met few times in a café or restaurant for dates. His behaviour was like every woman would desire for a husband like him. I was thanking my parents for searching such a wonderful person for me. He was my Mr. Perfect I was thinking that I could not even found someone nearly equal to him if I had searched on my own.
And one evening he called me asking to meet him urgently. Hearing the seriousness of his voice I started my scooter and rushed to his place. The darkness was about to engulf the horizon when I knocked his door. He opened the door wearing his uniform and welcomed me inside. He was staying alone far from his family in the government quarter. The room was not big but enough for a family of two to stay.
I asked,” why you called me now?”
He said,” It’s my birthday so I wanted to celebrate it with you.” pointing towards the cake decorated over the table in the middle of the room.
With a smile I wished him. Than he brought me closer to the cake and cut that holding the knife in my hand. Putting the first slice in my mouth he took the rest. I wished him again and apologized for not bringing any gift for him.
He said,” You are my gift. What more I should wish for?”
Without understanding the true meaning of his words I replied,” Tell me what you want? I promise I will definitely give it to you.”
A with a strange smile on his lips putting his hand over my shoulder he said,” I want you to be mine today.” And moved closer to me.
For a moment fear ran through my spine. I was not understanding why he asked such a thing knowing that we were going to marry after two months. I tried to convince him that what he was saying was not acceptable by her before marriage. But he didn’t listen to me and sat silently without looking to my face. I didn’t wanted to ruin our relationship before it started so his obstinacy own over my feelings. I agreed to sleep with him thinking anyhow I would be doing that with my husband what matters if it happened before or after taking rounds around the pious fire.

Tear came out from my closed eyes when his lips touched mine. For the first time my skin was getting the touch of a man. The feeling of getting desired by the person was amazing but it came with a price. A pain that was far worse than slitting the wrist or getting a tight slap like your bone was being crushed under an iron roller.
Licking my neck he moved down removing the clothes which were coming between his lips and my skin. My heart started beating faster when he reached my naval and I closed my eyes in shyness. The next thing I felt was him removing my pants and undergarments. Spreading my legs he stated throwing her cloth on the ground. I was not in a condition to open my eye and see what was going to happen. I felt like someone inserted a hot iron rod inside my body tearing apart the skin and then the pain started spreading around my body from my lower belly. I started yearning over the bed like a fish without water but my heart broken cry had no effect on his ears. He kept bumping his body on me till I felt some hot liquid getting inside me.
Laying by my side he said,” Don’t cry nothing will happen. It occurs first time with everyone. By the way I am glad you were a virgin and gave me the chance to take it.”
The burring inside my body was not allowing me to understand a single word of his. After spending an hour on the bed wetting my face with my own tear I got up from the bed and tried to stand but my legs were shaking so hard they I fall on the ground. But he didn’t even opened his eye to see what happened. When I looked to the bedsheet and area between my legs were looking red with my blood. For a moment I thought what I had done than made myself normal and clean my body with a towel. Wearing my dress I asked for leave and walked out of the house. He didn’t felt like dropping me till the gate.
With the pain somehow I managed to drive back home and sat under the hot shower. I was feeling guilty of doing all that before but the other part of me was trying to convince me. For next two days I didn’t put my leg outside my room so no one could know what I had done. But the chapter didn’t ended their and he continued to call me to different places at different times to stifle the fire of his body. Going to a hotel room with him and the look the receptionist gave me made me feel like a call girl a whore who sells her body in exchange of money. So one day I decided to end that and for the first time I say no to him just to get a tight slap and to be forcefully raped inside his car.
That day for the first time I felt like taking a wrong decision. As our marriage day got closer he became the gentlemen I loved in the first look making me feel like he had changed but  that was one more trick of his to take hold of the chain of my life.
My parents gave him a lot of gifts and cash as dowry as promised and even funded the tickets for our honeymoon in Switzerland which name he was not able to pronounce correctly. For next two three moths life went with romance and pleasure life the silence before a tsunami. His family started forcing me to ask my parents for more dowry for my expenses in their house. For first two three times my father gave what he could arranged but at last he had nothing left. Thee torture was getting worse day by day. My husband stated beating me on small issue. His demand on bed with animalistic behaviour was becoming hard for me to bear. Every night I was getting rapped on my own house own bed by my one husband but I had to share my pain.
Whenever his senior came to our place he used me as a slave. Asking me to prepare drink for them and even sometime under the influence of alcohol he pulled my sari in front of them and touching my body making me feel like a striper. Inside the close door I cried everytime when his friends knocked the door like they were going to rape me. I had started hating my life thinking of committing suicide but my parents face stopped me. I thought of taking the help of law but putting my own family on the court pulled my step back. I was waiting for someone who could hold my hand pulling me out of the muddy life.
One day gathering courage I asked my husband,” Can I work outside to earn some money?”
With a laugh he said,” Dhanda karna chahati ho (you want to be a prostitute)?”
I said in a trembling voice,” No, I am thinking of teaching in a school or college.”
Nodding his head he said,” Ok, let me talk to someone for you. But I warn you if you started playing with me I will tear out your skin.”
In next seven days I got a job in a college in a nearby city as an English lecturer. Initially I thought he would drop me to my collage but he was not bothered about that. After making breakfast for him put some juice in my empty stomach and ran to the bus stand. The bus was so crowded that keeping a step inside was difficult. But still I went inside thinking of not reaching late on my first day. Standing between men in the tight bus I was feeling uncomfortable every time the driver pulled the break. Knowingly the guy fall over my back touching his part on my back. I was about to scream in tears when a boy  in his early twenty sitting on the seat near me got uo and said,” Ma’am if you don’t mind you can sit hear.” Giving a sarcastic look to the guy standing behind me. I took his seat giving him a smile.
After two stoppage when the bus took a heavy break the guy touching me scream loudly in pain. Everyone asked him what happened but he didn’t spoke a line.no one knew what happened to him except me and the boy. I saw the boy crunching his ball with his hand and when he saw me looking at him he left him with a smile in his face. I smiled back thanking him. When I reached the spot I looked for him to thank in words but he was gone like a smoke in the air.
Reaching collage I met the principal and taking the time chart I went for my class. I was about to teach final year students of engineering. When I put my foot inside the whole cheered like a celebrity entered to the red carpet. Making them silent I started to discuss about the topic they had already completed to easy my load.
I was writing the name of the chapter I was going to teach them the next day when a guy entered inside and went to his seat like I was not even present in the class. When I asked who came late he stood of when our eyes met we both had no words to say. He was the same guy from the bus who saved me from that pervert. Asking him to meet outside I left the class and he followed me.
Outside I asked him,” you came with me in the same bus right but why you are late for the class.”
Scratching his head he said,” Ma’am! First sorry for my behaviour there. And about being late I was stuck somewhere.” 
I laughed at his attitude and said,” I don’t want you to come late from next day. And cut your hairs you are looking like a girl from back.”
He smiled and left.
The next day when I reached for the bus crowd was same as before but the boy again gave his seat to me. We talked all the way till the bus reached. And it started happening every day. From his talk I notice what he pretend to be from outside was not same from his heart. He attended every class of mine looking at my face without diverting his eyes from mine even making me feel awkward some time when our eyes met.
With passage of time we were getting closer and one day I saw him waiting on a bike. When I asked whom he was waiting he blushed and ask me to seat. From that day he picked and dropped me every day like a friend. The little age gape was making us feel equal and we were sharing every ting with each other.
One day while coming back I felt like vomiting and asked him to stop the bike. He thought I had food poisoning but I knew I was pregnant but I didn’t told him. He dropped me till my house that day and left.
Thinking everything would become wright after our first baby I told my husband that I was pregnant. But his reaction shocked me. He was not happy but became red in anger and slapped me holding my hair. When I asked him why he was doing all that.
He said,” Whose sin you are carrying inside. I know it’s not mine and even know whom it belongs. It is of the boy with whom you goes to collage right. After marriage you were not able to meet so you fooled me of working out side.”
He continued,” Tell me for how long you are sleeping with him or I will kill you.”
In a sobbing I voice I tried to explain that he was the person who took my virginity before marriage and now accusing me of betrayal. How much I cry before him saying I never even imagined of any other men except him he didn’t listen.
The next day he took me to the hospital and aborted the child even after my resistance. For next 7 days I slept on the bed crying my heart out thinking about the little life I was about to brought to this world.
One day when my husband was not at home my phone rang flashing an unknown number. When I picked a voice of a guy came from that side. Telling my name he asked if I was she and when I nodded he said,” what happened to you? Why are you not coming to college? Did you health still not ok? Should I come to meet you?”
From the voice I realised I was him the guy from my collage I wanted to meet him and tell him everything but I didn’t wanted to put him in trouble. So I cut the call and he also dint tried to call back again. This time when I returned to collage my husband came to drop me.
At college I tried to ignore him. Intestinally not looking at him in class, leaving directly to faculty chamber, hiding eye contact. It went for 3 days like god had planned to bring the angel in my life to save me from all the misery the whole class had bunked. When I entered to the class no one was there except him. He was seating on the corner and closed the door. I was afraid of what he was going to do but what he did my heart had never expected. Holding my hands he sat me on the bench and asked why I was ignoring him.
His emotional voice melted my heart. I hugged him and cried like a baby. Unable to understand the situation he kept asking me to calm down but when I didn’t stopped he kissed on my lips making my sobbing stopped. His touch felt like ice over my burring heart. When I tear stopped he removed his lips from mine and repeat his question.
This time I described everything that was happing with me from the day I met him. The rapes, the torture, and the abortion everything word by word I narrated him. Anger came out from his eyes as tears.
Holding my hands he said,” You may thing I am trying to take advantage of you knowing your situation but from the first day when I saw you in the bus I fell in your love. Every beat of my heart speaking only your name. I Love you just say these three words once and I will fight with the world to bring out of from the pit and give you all the happiness you deserve making you mine.”
I said,” I too like you but we can’t became one. My husband is a very bad man he will put you in lots of trouble. So you have to forget me. In next few days I am going to quit the collage too.” And left the room crying.
From that day our friendship took a different mood I was not able to resist to talk to him when my husband was outside. After quitting the collage I started spend whole day with him over phone. The cloud of sadness were vanishing from my head and I was spending more time smiling. With my changed behaviour my husband started doubting me. He put his constable behind me to see where I was going.
One such day when I went to a park to meet my love his informers called him. We were sitting on a bench eating ice cream when a few police man pulled his collar from the back and started slapping him. They put him in the van and took to the station before my husband. When I reached there by auto he was inside the lockup getting beaten by my husband’s belt. But not a single drop of regrets or fear was in eye. Seeing me there his anger touched the sky and he left him and came outside. He put a tight slap on my cheek making me fall on the ground.
He was still silent not a single word coming from his mouth. Like he was waiting for something. And after few minutes my husband’s phone rang bringing nervousness on his face. His words were shaking when he was talking and continuously looking towards the lockup. When the call ended he was wet in sweat and opened the door of the lock of asking for excuse from the boy.
At the mean time an advocate came with a file and asked my husband to sign and without reading with his trembling hand he signed. Coming out of the lockup the boy took the file from his hand and sat near me and asked me to sign. I followed his words without thinking. After that he asked the advocate,” Submit it in the court and apply for her divorce.”
I was confused looking at his face while he hold my hand and brought out of the police station. He whispered in my ear,” You are free now. He will never dare to look at you.”
Out of curiosity I asked him,” Who are you.”
With a smile he said,” you will know in a week.”
I directly went back to my father’s house and told them everything. They were shocked but happy that I was saved from that devil. After five days when my divorce was approved two cars stopped before our house. That was he with his father the union minister of our state. My eyes remained open that he never made me feel that his father was a big man. Respect for him increased inside my heart.
His parents talked to mine asking my hand for their son. But when they turned to me I nodded my head saying yes. Within one month we get married and went for our honeymoon. While reading the newspaper I saw a news about my ex-husband getting killed by Maoist and showed him. He smiled and kissed on my forehead and I smiled back.

Seven Days Of Valentine

After two of my books found their place in the list of bestsellers of the decade crossing number of great writers from whom once I had took my inspiration, my feet was not touching the ground. Life had changed for me, I was shining like the moon in the crowd of stars. My self-esteem had turned into ego and even and my job confining myself inside my apartment and started writing my next novel. But after completing half of it I went clue less, not a single line I was able to think and just kept tearing out pages from the notebook and threw into the trace bin.

More than 2 years passed since I had written a sentence, not even talked to anyone. The cheer of my name was vanishing from the media like I had become history. New names were taking over my place with their new stories.
Finally I decided to come out my dungeon and take some free air so I called a travel agency and booked a ticket for Shimla. The bus was taking turns while climbing up to the queen of hills through the beautiful landscape. Once I reached there the travel agent took me to the hotel and informed me about the detail tour plan. Thanking him I rested on the bed waiting for the next morning to come.

My sleep broke in the mid-night by few Facebook messages from my fans wishing me the first day of valentine week. It was not a surprise to forgetting valentine after 9 months of my breakup with my girlfriend just because I was not giving her time and unable to cope with her expenses. For her I had nothing left, my pen didn’t had the craziness about writing and I was a forgotten celebrity.
Opening Instagram I checked her pictures and a drop of tear ran down from my eye while lips curved with smile. I was still not accepting that I threw her out of my life calling her an attention seeking bitch, for me she left my hand when I needed her most. And lost in thought, didn’t realised when opening the door of dreams I entered inside.

7th February
The morning alarm brought me back to reality and opening the window let the fresh air of the hills fill my lungs. After taking a shower I went out of the hotel and walked to a café in the near distance. The café was embellish with flower and balloons to attract its customers. Getting in I looked for a vacant seat and sat there looking at the light snowfall through the glass window. The slow music and the room heater gave my body some relief and I waited for my coffee to reach the table.

I was enjoying warping my hand around the hot coffee when she put her step inside. A lady in her early thirties, curly long hair falling till her waist and with a face like a heavenly angel. Putting her big jacket on the hanger near the door she moved her eyes around the room and stopped at me. With her long legs she walked towards me and asked,” if you don’t mind can I sit here?”

I nodded saying yes to her and again got busy looking at the streets. For few minutes she kept staring at me and pulled out a book from his bag and looked at the back side of the cover page. And in an exciting voice showing me the book she asked,” Aren’t you the writer of this book, the best seller?”

With a smile I looked at her face and said,” Yup, I was the writer. I have not written anything since my second book.”
” I am such a big fan of yours, I had read it four times still feeling like repeat it again” she prompted in a exciting voice
I thanked her as she gave her book for a signature.

While I was signing she asked,” By the way can I ask you why you are in Shimla.”
I said,” Just to get some peace in the hills. By the way everyone comes here for enjoyment.”

She said in a dull voice,” Not everyone, sometimes people come here to search something. A missing link of their life. And being a writer you must have something in your mind.”

With a long breath and few seconds of silence I sighed,” Yes! I am searching something, a story which I would give shape on the paper. A story that no one had ever heard up, something new.”

Her eyes looked glowing and she replied,” if it’s ok with you I will share my story, my journey to Shimla. Story of my never ending search. But you have to promise me that you will publish it.”

Her words had the pain that I was able to feel beneath the smiling face. She had a story which she wanted to share with me and why shouldn’t I listen to her, I had no other work for next few days, it’s better to spend time with her than sleeping alone in the room. So I agreed with her condition.
After talking for few minutes she asked for leave and went out of the café to disappear in the crowded snow filled street.

8th February
When I reached the café the girl was already there waiting for me. Waving me hand she ordered a coffee for me and sit silently. When I took the first sip of the hot coffee she began

It was the same day just before 9 years when I was in my final year of college and came here for the first time with friends. With the dawn of the day our bus stopped with a jerk breaking my sleep. The cold breeze of the valley whispered song of Valentine in my ear. When I remover my long falling hair from face feeling the soft touch of morning rays of sun, a face came to sight. A handsome charming men in his late 20s standing near a bike looking at our bus. He was dressed in leather jacket with knee and elbow protectors like the speed bikers do.

When our eyes met I felt like he was looking at me and my lips returned his smile. When I realized what I did I closed the window and laughed at my foolishness. One by one all my friend came out of the bus and so was I, standing near the door my eyes searched for him but he was gone. Like I knew him from years I looked around to get a glance of his leather jacket until my friends pushed me towards the resort.
Getting fresh we went for the tour around the city exploring the beauty of nature until the sun hide in the horizon. In the evening we were sitting in the lawn surrounding the camp fire singing songs and telling stories when few bikes stopped near the gate and the riders came inside making noise. When they saw us looking at them they shut their mouths and sat silently on a bench near us. For a moment the silent in the air made the situation uncomfortable but in a few minutes everyone started enjoying.
I heard a boy taking to someone over phone and from his conversation I noticed that one of their group member is still not returned. He was looking tense but the guy from the other side told him not to worry as he would be back soon.
After few long minutes a tall figure came towards us, his face was covered by helmet making him look like a serial killer of 90s. He sat with the guys and removed his gloves and jacket when someone knocked on his helmet asking him to remove that cover. And when he pulled that out I knew the face, he was the guy from the morning. There was an inevitable charm in his face making me bound in his looks. His black eyes were holding mine. His constant staring made me uncomfortable and with a blush I looked in a different direction but from the corner of my eye I was trying to see was he still looking at me.”

9th February
On the propose day the street were filled with couples walking hand in hand creating a scene of Venice in Shimla. Crossing them I reached the bedeck café to listen her story. Welcoming with a warm smile she started narrating.

Next morning somehow I pulled my dozy body out of the bed and walked to the bathroom. Washing my face ordered a coffee and sat in the balcony looking at the rising sun from behind the hills. Lost in thoughts watching the couples walking around the streets I was imaging my life with a guy who could fill the emptiness of my heart.

And suddenly the noise of the doorbell lugged me back. Opening the door I saw the waiter standing with my coffee sticking a smile on his lips. Taking the cup from his hand I went back to my chair and took the sip of hot cappuccino. A spark of freshness rushed to my brain through my lips.   

I was enjoying the coffee when the same guy came to the balcony stretching his hands. He blushed seeing me there making me laughed.

We exchange good morning and talked for few minutes. He told me they were going on a for a road trip around Shimla so if we wished we could join them. Saying I would talk to my friends I left the balcony. After my friends woke up I insisted them for the trip not because I wanted to travel but there was a spell of magic luring me towards him. After few discussion finally we got ready to go with them.

Finishing breakfast everyone gathered near the parking area to start the journey. We sat behind the boys and the trip started. Taking turns through the mountain road the bikes were moving forward with speed, we were felling the cold air on our skin. Removing the helmet I let my hair open making them wave free in the air. Spreading my hands I was feeling like a bird flying free in the sky.
After few hours of drive we stop near a tea shop to give the engines a rest. Holding the cup in hand I walked with him few steps to let my leg some relax.  He was an amazing guy with humours talk and a charming smile. Every time he smiled my heart slipped from its place.
Resuming our journey we reached near a waterfall in the evening and lost in the view. Sitting for hours, taking pictures I thought of spending my entire life there.
We reached back to our hotel till night and having our dinner threw our bodies on the bed.

10th February
My steps were moving faster as I was late for the café. Her story was making me curious with every passing day. But today she was sitting silently, her charming face was little down. She didn’t greeted with her smiling voice. Signalling the waiter for two coffee I asked her to resume.

From the night clouds started bursting over the city making it impossible to put a leg outside. I was getting bored looking outside throw the glass window all the morning so putting the over coat I walked down to the cafe inside the resort. In the empty café I saw him sitting alone in a corner. He waved his hand when saw me walk towards him. Ordering a coffee for me we sat silently. I was not going to start the conversation, I wanted him to speak first. Counting every breath I was scratching my fingers.

Finally he broke the silence,” Did you enjoyed yesterday?”

I nodded while the waiter brought my coffee. Taking a sip I asked,” Do you come here every year?”

“Yes, from last five years” he answered.
Suddenly a question came out of my mouth” Why” making me feel awkward.
But he gently replied,” in search of something, better to say someone. After finding whom the emptiness of my life will be fulfilled.” With a deep breath.

“Did you found her” I was not going to give up before bringing the truth out of him.

“No, still not found but I think this time my search is going to end” gazing in to my eyes. He made me feel like forgetting myself in his eyes.

My cheeks blushed and a smile raised in the corner of my lips” I wish your words become true”.

Our conversation continued and we lost the count of time, when we realised he sun had already crossed over our head but the rain was not showing any shine of stopping.

Ordering our lunch we ate silently and sat outside under a shade felling the cool air on our bodies.

11th February
My body was feeling little drowsy due to the weather. The bed was calling me to hug her but I tried my best to get over her spell and took a hot shower. Walking to the café I thought of taking something for her. But in the early morning I didn’t found anything except a vendor selling apples. Holding a decorated basket of fruits I reached to her. Tanking me for the gift she gave a little hug and started from where we left on the previous day.

Every moment I was spending with him my heart was drawing closer to him, he was becoming an addiction and a habit I didn’t wanted to change. The way he carried himself, his way of talking and his dimpled chicks were sweeping me out of my feet. I wanted to fall just to be hold by his arms and to look into his eyes.

Sitting on his bike we were traveling around the city. In just few days we became so close that I felt like most secure with him. My friends were surprised seeing me with him, because after breaking so many hart finally I found a place to rest.

In the night when we returned holding my hand he said,” I promise you I will make you remember this valentine for the rest of your life.” And left smiling at me. I was blushed kept looking him till he vanished from my view.

12th February
With every chapter of her story turning pages it was getting more interesting. Her tale was like a chocolate cake, the more inside you go the more testy it would become. Waking up several times in the night I looked at clock to check morning had come or not. And finally not able to sleep thinking what will happen in her story on the next day I sat on my bed waiting for the sun to rise.

When I reached the café two beautiful cups of coffee were arranged on the table we sat everyday. When I took slide onto the chair a waitress came and greeted me ‘Sir, will you like to order something special for your girlfriend?’

‘What, She is not my girlfriend but still I would like order few cookies for her.” I prompted and waited for her.

She smiled seeing the arrangement and throwing her arms around gave me a warm hug. Testing the flavours of hand made cookies she began her story.

Only two days left for Valentine’s day to come and I was already in love. But my heart was hesitating to accept, mountains of questions building inside me. What if he didn’t feel same like I do, if he only think me as a friend, what if he reject my proposal, if he had someone already in his life. I started having headache with all those thoughts rolling in my head.

But I decided to express my feelings to him and with the clock tickle passed midnight I dialled his number. After few rings his dozy voice came from the receiver. In excitement I wished him hug day and cut the before he could be able to react. Giggling with my blushed cheeks I was jumping on the bed proud of my achievement.

In the morning I was not able to look into his eyes and stood with my eyes down. He gently walked near me and took me into his arm and whispered in my ear ‘I think you called me instead of calling someone special’. I understood he was teasing me and pushed him back.

I wanted to know more about him, to read every line his book. Walking around the city we talked about our life and desires, share all the happy and sad moments of past.

Till the sun went to the lap of his mother I was sure he had some feelings for me. But he was afraid to express.

13th February
Her story was going to end but I had no clue in what direction it was moving. I was listening again her voice recorded in my phone and trying to give it a shape of novel but with out knowing the conclusion I was not in a state to ink her words onto paper.

Meeting her at the café had become a routine for me. Walking down the street when I reached near the entrance she called my name from a distance. I waited her to reach me and shaking hands we get inside.

That day she was looking excited, in a happy mood and told me that she would finish her story that day. My eyes glowed to test he ending. Till that time I had drafted the ending with own words in my brain. But what she was going say would slip the ground below my feet.

In the morning I search for him around the resort but he was not there, all my calls went blank his friends had no idea of his whereabouts. My heart was beating faster with a strange thought.

Sitting on the balcony I kept looking at the street thinking he will wave at me in the next minute but minutes slipped in to hours but my eyes didn’t get a glance of him. I thought ‘Did he left to avoid me for my awkward behaviour with him.’ I had lost all the hope of seeing him again, my heart was feeling broken into pieces. He never said he loves me but for me he had become my life. Like a relationship of centuries ended I was feeling, not in a state to realize what’s happening near me. My brain was stuck with his thoughts.
When the sun went down my friends pulled me with them to the lawn and sat near the fire. The cold and the warmth had no effect on my skin like I had lost the sense of touch. I was sitting like a stone statue looking at the direction of gate praying to send him back to me.

With the night getting darker everyone went to their beds. But I didn’t moved a single inch from my place. Decided to wait for him I kept staring at the door without a single blink in my eyes. And as god listen to my prayer he walked through the gate holding a big gift box in his hand. His face was not visible in the darkness but my heart was seeing him clearly.

I ran towards him and impulsively gave a tight hug to him. Putting his around me he hold me tightly. After few minutes of silence when my heart finally got peace I pushed him and started hammering his chest with my hands seeking the explanation of his disappearance.

Holding by my arm he sat me on the sofa and hand me over the box asking me to open. When the cover removed a beautiful teddy bear with lots of chocolates were inside. When I was looking into the box he get down on his knees and pulled a rose from his pocket ‘After meeting you my search finally ended, for the first time someone entered so deep into my heart. Every moment I am spending with you are the best memory of my life. Will you be my Valentine for the rest of my life’.

A tear dropped from my eyes and I slipped my body to the ground. We were looking into each other’s eyes lost in the eternal feeling of love. A blow of wind scattered my hair on my face. Slowly he removed the hair from my  face and moved his fingers on my cheeks. His touch was like a electric pulse running inside my body. Automatically my lips moved close to his and eyes got close. His warm lips touched my and we let ourselves float with the flow.

Separating our bodies we talked for few minutes when I told him I had to leave on the next day. We were upset for the separation But the happiness of finding love was overcoming that.

Promising to meet once we get back to our cities we went to our rooms.

Next morning he was waiting for me near our bus. Giving him a good bye hug I entered into our bus with teary eyes and kept looking outside the window till he vanished in the horizon.

Reaching back home I waited for his call. Days passed but he didn’t replied a single message of mine , when I dialled his number ‘The number you have dialled is not reachable, Please try again later’ a automatic reply came. I was getting disturbed, did he dumped me a thought ran inside me but convincing myself I tried to reach his friends. After few weeks of search somehow I managed to get one of friends number and when dialled my soul torn apart.

‘When we were returning back on a sharp turn suddenly a truck came before us and he with two of our friends lose their balance and fall into the valley. The emergency helicopter took them to hospital but they didn’t able to survive fall. He had multiple bone fractures and his head was smashed inside the helmet’ He said but not able to listen I cut the call. And cried for day on my bed till my tear buds ran empty. For months I had become a living zombie.

I was going to college, eating talking with friends but a part of me was dead . I was not able to smile, sitting silently always lost in his thoughts. How can he did that to me, why he embraced dead after promising me to spend the entire life together.

But for me his promise was like a threat of love which I couldn’t cross. Taking the auth to not love anyone ever in this life I decided to come to Shimla every year during Valentine to rewind his memory. These seven days I smiles all the day walking around the places which kept his touch but every night I cried with the little thoughts that I have of him unable to accept the truth even after 9 years.

Burning his face in his hands he started crying. The more I tried to calm her down the more she cried but suddenly stopped and holding my hands she asked me to promise that I would write her story and let the world know about her love. When I nodded she got up from her seat and swiping her tears walked out of the café.
The heart broken story brought water in my eyes but I didn’t allowed them to fall. Returning to my hotel I decided to write the story but thought of taking to her one last time before binging.

14th February
I was waiting curiously for the her inside the café but she didn’t came. Hour passed, I consumed a few cups of coffee but still didn’t got a sign of her. Asking the waitress I got nothing about her. With the sun climbing to my head I walked back thinking the last day as my last meet.

In the night after having lunch I was just changing channels when I stuck on a news. A girl committed suicide by jumping into the valley, struck me like a thunderbolt. When they saw the body I knew the dress, that was she in the dress of last night.

I didn’t understood why she choose the path of death after so many years, did she waiting for someone to share her pain or did god had kept her alive for me to listen her story. She left the world but her story will keep them both in millions heart.

Pashchatap: A Day of Self Repentance

Being a girl grown up by a single mother I had cemented my view on this male dominated society. For me men were the reason of our all misery. Every time news flashed about an eve teasing or rape blood boiled through my veins, sometime I felt like take the avatar of goddess Kali holding a sword slicing the genital of every single men of the planet. My morals never allowed my heart to fall for someone because for me all of them were same, just uses us and through into a trace bin like an empty cane. Like someone did with my mom and left her alone putting me inside her to suffer for the rest of the life.

But everything was going to change, like the tidal wave was going to clean the beach of thought.

Still I remember, that was the Monday morning and nothing was going well with me. Geiger of my apartment was not working, maid didn’t cleaned the utensils of previous night and the worst part! I was on my period. Still I had to capture the honorary ceremony organised by a NGO for a man who saved 2 girls from getting raped and admitted in the ICU in the process.

With anger and irritation in my head I put my feet out but one more trouble didn’t end there, my car was broke. Kicking the tyre and scolding the car I moved my leg towards the bus stop, the most hated place for me. I never liked to travel in the city bus not for the feeling of sharing the space with unknown people but for the behavior of the fifth bastards. Inside the bus they think they can do anything in the name of moment of inertia. Touching our skin putting their hand anywhere they want.

And the same thing happened on that day, when I was standing with the fully packed crowd helping my body to stand straight inside the bus. With every break someone must through his body over me and with every passing second my control over my anger was breaking. At last when the bus took a turn a man sitting by my side came over me and the thermometer of my anger broke putting the signature of my palm hand on his face. He was clue less, unable to understand what just happened. The whole crowd turned towards him like they wanted an explanation.

” I was just getting up from my seat to allow you to sit and the same time bus took the turn and I fall.” He said. But I was not ready to accept his confection how much he tried to say he didn’t did that with intention. Scolding him like a rapist I asked the bus to stop and get down.

Cursing the day I reached the venue late, all the crew member were there waiting for my way. When they asked why I became delay I narrated the whole incident giving a dirty look to the male crew. They knew my behavior so they didn’t say anything but I could feel the hesitation inside them to work with me.

As the function started I put the mike and gave the live feed to my audience. The chief guest had arrived and the inauguration happened and after a skit perform by school children on women empowerment the speeches began. One by one the guest stood and spoke but when one of the survivor narrated the incident of that night tear came out of my eyes. The men I met in the bus felt me like the culprit who tried to abuse them.

Standing at the distance nothing was visible to my eyes, only the voice were reaching to my ear. The gentlemen who saved those girl requested everyone to respect other women like we do to our own family members. Listening to his word I wanted to meet him but at the last moment of the function rain poured heavily and we had to rush back to our van.

Returning home I took a shower and sat before the TV warping my hand around the hot tea. Opening the news I was waiting for my news to repeat so I could the face of the guy. When the news started I looked into the screen in curiosity and suddenly the face came before me. My eyes became wide, I was not believing what I just saw and the cup slipped from my shaking hand.

I sat back holding my head. I thought if what I was seeing is true than I had committed a colossal mistake. He was the same guy I slapped in the morning. How much I tried to convince myself of being correct logic pushed me back. How can I be right, the guy saved two unknown girls from being rapped putting his life in danger, would his moral allow him to tease a girl in the bus while going to a function where he would meet the same girls again. Could he be able to take the respect if he had intentionally fall over her in the bus?

Ebb of question where banging in my head. I was not able to think for an excuse for my did. Whom I thought as a devil was a real life angel a hero for thousands. Dialing my office number I asked the editor about the details on the guy, taking few minutes he gave the information he had.

He was not a guy from our city, an NRI came to visit India when all that happened. To remove my guilt I decided to go to is hotel and say sorry for my behavior and slept in that thought. Next morning when I reached his hotel the receptionist informed he had left for the airport few ours ago. But I was late there also, till I reached there his flight had took up.

Sitting in the airport I remembered what he had said and smiled. His face I would never be able to forget in my entire life. He made me realize I was not correct every time. And I went back to work keeping the guild inside my heart pushing myself to being a better person with every passing day.

  

Abhisarika: Love@GB Road

Falling In love was never in my plan. Until one day I just realized that I love her too much. Love does not appear with any warning signs. You fall into it as if pushed from a high diving board. No time to think about what’s happening. It’s inevitable. An event you can’t control. A crazy, heart-stopping, roller-coaster ride that just has to take its course.

                                                                                                                                       

                                                                                                                                       (Unknown)

For me love was just to have someone by my side to introduce as my girlfriend before others. Taking her for shopping and dates, making out in hostel room and fighting over her friendship with other boys.

No desire of getting married I was in a relationship with her like many others in our class. She was a beautiful girl and the only daughter of a rich father, getting everything she wanted in a pinch of finger. Our life was going well till the date when one of my friend informed me that she was in a pub with another guy. Anger climbed to my brain not because of possessiveness but as my prestige was in stack. Igniting the bullet I drove towards the pub. Blood was running hot making my veins visible through pumped body. The bouncers standing near the door were looking minion before my figure. My friend knew I was going to create a mess but still directed his finger to a corner where she was kissing with a guy on a sofa.

In one hand I separate her from the guy and pushed back making her fall hard on the floor. And started stamping punches on the guy’s face. He was not much strong to resist my steroid addicted body and in few minutes throwing his senseless body on the sofa I turned to my girl. She was trembling with fear and her face had already become pale. I saw blood coming from her forehead due to the fall but that didn’t stopped the anger burning inside me. I kept slapping her till blood come out from her mouth and mark of my finger imprinted hard on her face. She kept asking for excuse but I didn’t stopped. When my ego got satisfied I pulled her out of the pub while whole crowd kept looking with no one had the guts to stop me. The manager asked the bouncers not to come on my way because he already knew my temper and sometimes took favor from me.

Making her sit on the bike I took her to my room and threw her on the floor. She was crying appealing for mercy but I pulled out my belt and kept thrashing her until her dress started tear. She was half out of her sense unable to speak a single word and when I saw her bosoms reveling out of the tattered dress I removed her cloth making her white skin visible.

She was trying to hide her womanliness but spreading her leg I started getting inside her making her moan in the pain. I had turned into a true evil raping the girl with force whom once I was calling my love. For the whole night under the influence of drugs and alcohol I kept violating her body till my exhausted body fell on the ground with no strength to stand.

Next morning my sleep broke with a knock on my door. When I opened my eyes she was not there. I opened the gate asking who was it but someone pulled me out with my collar just get a punch on his belly. I was about to give one more but stopped seeing the uniform. Three constable drag me inside the jeep and took me to the polish station. The same guy from the bar last night was sitting with the inspector with his face covered in bandage. When he turned to me I showed him a middle finger.

The polish charged me hard with their sticks for two days till my friends arranged for my bail. Getting out I slept inside my room without talking with anyone. After a week when the marks got lighter I went to collage to meet her and for a patch up like I did every time after a fight. But that time I had crossed my limit. I didn’t knew that she was admitted to hospital for injuries on her body of that night. When I approached her she said,” never ever show your face to me otherwise it will not take me a second to put a rape and attempt to murder charge on you.”

I didn’t love her from truly but still her ward pierced in to my heart. In anger I turned my bike in the direction of GB road the infamous red light area of Delhi. For me to forget her was I just to sleep with someone else.

Entering into a house I put a bundle of thousand in the hand of the pimp and asked her for the best girl. She asked me to follow and took me to a small room. Pointing to the door she said,” jao babu, nayi nayi jabani me ladki ayihe. Jitna maje lena he lelo (the girl has just reached her puberty enjoy as much as you can).”

In the dim light of the room I saw the face of a girl in the mirror barely at her sixteen. Seeing me inside horror spread over her face but removing her blouse and pulling up the sari she lied on the bed. When I climbed over her and started getting inside she closed her eyes and tears dropped from her eyes in pain. After finishing I put a hundred rupees note between her breast and left.

After few days I returned again asking for her. This time I was drunk and banging her like a pillow and turning her tears in to cry in a few minutes I over her. When my eyes open I was laying on her bed while she was sprinkling water over my face. For a moment I felt shame on me but then asked her,” what happened to me?”

She said,” you got unconscious after you have finished.so I put you on my bed and started sprinkling water to bring you to sense.”

I saw an unknown darkness covering her face a sadness that not allowing the rosy lips to smile. Giving her a 500 rupees note I left. For next few night I was not able to sleep. Whenever I tried to close my eyes her sad face floated crying for help. 

To get my answer I went to her but when she started removing her blouse I asked her to stop and sit near me.

She was confused by my behaviour. No one who ever came to her had ever asked that type of question. Being a prostitute she knew how to sell her body but not wards. She never felt shy while taking someone inside her body but sitting with a stranger and talking was the hardest thing she had ever done.

To make her comfortable I asked,” what’s your name?”

After a small silence she opened her mouth,” my name was Abhisarika before I came here.”

I asked,” what they call you here?”

She said,” We don’t have names here. They call us by our room numbers.”

My curiosity was increasing. I asked,” can you tell me how you came here? Where are your parents? Did they never tried to find you?”

Listening to my question tear rolled from her eyes. After a long pause she started narrating her story,”

It was 2015 when I promoted to my class 10^th. My parents were working hard to give me a good education. We were happy together but that was not bearable by god and in the earth quack when I went outside to attain the call of nature the roof fell over them. My parents my house were gone. I cried for three days without food and water waiting for the rescue team to come and bring their body out.

After their funeral I had no place to hide my head or a plate to eat. At that time one of my relative uncle asked me to come with him to Delhi where he promised to put in an orphans where I could get food and shelter. But he lied everything. After staying at a hotel and having dinner I never saw him again. When my eyes open I was here. The madam told me, I was sold to her and I had to stay here for the rest of my life earing for her by selling my body. I had tried to get away from here but with no luck. They beat and raped me several times until I broke up. Remembering the horror I can’t even imagine of put a step outside this room. For me this is my prison where I had to sleep with anyone who ever comes in. My body is not mine it’s a doll of the market which anyone can play with by paying the amount.”

Taking a deep breath she wiped tear from her face. I was not able to believe her story. Such horror could happen with a small girl was out of my imagination. My eyes became wet and about to break the dam of my eye lashes when madam knocked saying,” Viagra lia he kya! Itna time kya laga raheho nikal ne me (Are you on Viagra! Why it’s taking so long).”

Giving the girl a five hundred note I was about to leave when she said,” I can’t take this money, you have done nothing with me.”

I replied back,” who said? I talked to you.” And left.

Coming back home I thought about her all night. How she would be feeling being chained inside the dark room sleeping with ever other guy who came there. With no desire of seeing the outside world again how she would be spending her days.

Form the next day I kept going there sitting with her for hours talking about different things. Trying to make her laugh. With time we became close and she started sharing her pain with me about how drunken bastards sometime bite her bosoms and pinch cigarettes on her stomach. How an angry men once beat her and banged her head on the wall making her bleed but after taking pain killer she had to attain other costumers all the day. Her stories some time brought tears in my eyes which she wiped with her hand saying that her destiny was never going to change and I didn’t need to feel bad about her.

Spending time with her was doing a chemical change inside my brain and heart. I was trying to become a better person, asking excuse for my mistake and feeling restless when I was not able to talk to her. Her feelings had slowly started engulfing my heart writing her name in every corner.

One day I brought a small mobile from a shop while going to her and gave asking to keep with her. She was scared because if her madam would know she would be beaten. But when I convinced nothing would happen she hide that inside her trunk. That day I taught her how to use that and saved my number for her to call me.

Coming back to my room I waited for her call to come but the fear that she would get beaten if caught was running in my mind too. I didn’t sleep in night looking at my mobile burning one after another smoke. And at last at 2.30am my phone rang and her sweet voice floated into my ear from the receiver. We talked till 5.00am when a customer knocked her door. She hung up in a sad voice thinking of the next few minutes with an unknown man.

After talking over phone for months one day I asked her,” Do you want to see the real Delhi?”

She said in a hopeless voice,” Yes, but it’s not possible. Madam will not agree.”

I said,” you don’t worry I will take care of that.” And she nodded.

The next day I went to her Madam and told her we had a party and we need a girl at our room. She was not ready but when I put 10000 hard cash on her hand she smiled and asked to choose the girl. I told her the room number and informed her the time to get her ready.

In the evening I came to pick her. Madam brought her instructing to make everyone happy so she could get more customer. Her head was down, she was not looking at me till she sat on my bike and we left the place behind.

I took her to a parlour for a makeover. While she kept looking around the big mirrors I asked the girl in the parlour to give their best treatments to her and after 2 hours she was looking like a glamour queen. Looking herself in the mirror she was touched her face to feel. Than we went to the mall for the purchase of dress. She got confused seeing the huge collation of dress and when I asked to choose what she want she said she had no money to pay. Looking at her eye I told her not to worry about the cost and just to take what she wanted. After finishing her shopping I drove her around the city showing her all the places.

After finishing dinner at a restaurant I drove her to my room where we sat silently for few minutes.

She said,” it is the best day of my life. I have never enjoyed this much. Even I had lost all my hopes of coming out of the den but you came like an angel and fulfilled my wish.” And she kissed on my lips. She started unzipping her dress saying,” this is all I can give you.”

Tear came out from my eyes and closing her zip I hugged her. I said,” I want you for ever to be mine. I don’t want anyone ever touch you again. I don’t want your soul to die each day because I love you. I want to see your smiling face every day. I want to see you woke me up every morning with your sweet voice.”

She kept looking at my face while I was speaking and broke up into tears when I finished.

She said,” This can’t happen. We both are from different part of the society and the society you came from is never going to accept me. You deserve someone better than me. An untouched girl not a whore like me who sleeps with everyone for money.”

I replied,” it’s not your fault that someone put you in this hell. You never wanted this. Than why you are blaming yourself. Today I am promising you I will make your wings free from the chain of GB road.”

Hugging for some time I drop her back saying I would came to her only when I would be able to give freedom from all her pain.

From the next day I started going to NGOs and women councils to get her out of the dungeon even tried to contact the police to help her. And after all my hard work they agreed and a NGO with some police officers raided the place and rescued her. I enrolled her in a well know orphanage so she could be safe for next one year till we get married.

After 3 years we are living a happy life at a place where no one knows about her past life far away from Delhi which showed her all the misery of life. She is going to collage everyday with smiling face and fulfilling all the wishes that I asked her that day. She had complete left her past behind and enjoying every small things happening in our life.