In The Wolf's Cage: Finding Love In Second Chance

“Fate is like a strange, unpopular restaurant filled with odd little waiters who bring you things you never asked for and don't always like.”
― Lemony Snicket

It was during the summer after my post-graduation from Saint Stephen College Delhi when my fate was locked with a men whom I had never met. My father told me he was a nice guy, relatives congratulated me getting a well settled groom but no one asked what I was looking for. Just with a single glance to his picture for a while and I nodded my head like any good daughter would have done. But for keeping other happy I didn’t realised that I was going to strangle my dreams with own hands.
He was 10 years older to me a sub inspector in state police services which he got after giving entrance for 6 times and a hefty amount of bribe.  I saw him on our engagement day for the first time and with his behaviour I took him as gentleman and tried to create love for him inside my heart.
After the engagement we started talking over phone for hours like a couple in their first love. His humours talk and romantic lines were making me feel special. We met few times in a café or restaurant for dates. His behaviour was like every woman would desire for a husband like him. I was thanking my parents for searching such a wonderful person for me. He was my Mr. Perfect I was thinking that I could not even found someone nearly equal to him if I had searched on my own.
And one evening he called me asking to meet him urgently. Hearing the seriousness of his voice I started my scooter and rushed to his place. The darkness was about to engulf the horizon when I knocked his door. He opened the door wearing his uniform and welcomed me inside. He was staying alone far from his family in the government quarter. The room was not big but enough for a family of two to stay.
I asked,” why you called me now?”
He said,” It’s my birthday so I wanted to celebrate it with you.” pointing towards the cake decorated over the table in the middle of the room.
With a smile I wished him. Than he brought me closer to the cake and cut that holding the knife in my hand. Putting the first slice in my mouth he took the rest. I wished him again and apologized for not bringing any gift for him.
He said,” You are my gift. What more I should wish for?”
Without understanding the true meaning of his words I replied,” Tell me what you want? I promise I will definitely give it to you.”
A with a strange smile on his lips putting his hand over my shoulder he said,” I want you to be mine today.” And moved closer to me.
For a moment fear ran through my spine. I was not understanding why he asked such a thing knowing that we were going to marry after two months. I tried to convince him that what he was saying was not acceptable by her before marriage. But he didn’t listen to me and sat silently without looking to my face. I didn’t wanted to ruin our relationship before it started so his obstinacy own over my feelings. I agreed to sleep with him thinking anyhow I would be doing that with my husband what matters if it happened before or after taking rounds around the pious fire.

Tear came out from my closed eyes when his lips touched mine. For the first time my skin was getting the touch of a man. The feeling of getting desired by the person was amazing but it came with a price. A pain that was far worse than slitting the wrist or getting a tight slap like your bone was being crushed under an iron roller.
Licking my neck he moved down removing the clothes which were coming between his lips and my skin. My heart started beating faster when he reached my naval and I closed my eyes in shyness. The next thing I felt was him removing my pants and undergarments. Spreading my legs he stated throwing her cloth on the ground. I was not in a condition to open my eye and see what was going to happen. I felt like someone inserted a hot iron rod inside my body tearing apart the skin and then the pain started spreading around my body from my lower belly. I started yearning over the bed like a fish without water but my heart broken cry had no effect on his ears. He kept bumping his body on me till I felt some hot liquid getting inside me.
Laying by my side he said,” Don’t cry nothing will happen. It occurs first time with everyone. By the way I am glad you were a virgin and gave me the chance to take it.”
The burring inside my body was not allowing me to understand a single word of his. After spending an hour on the bed wetting my face with my own tear I got up from the bed and tried to stand but my legs were shaking so hard they I fall on the ground. But he didn’t even opened his eye to see what happened. When I looked to the bedsheet and area between my legs were looking red with my blood. For a moment I thought what I had done than made myself normal and clean my body with a towel. Wearing my dress I asked for leave and walked out of the house. He didn’t felt like dropping me till the gate.
With the pain somehow I managed to drive back home and sat under the hot shower. I was feeling guilty of doing all that before but the other part of me was trying to convince me. For next two days I didn’t put my leg outside my room so no one could know what I had done. But the chapter didn’t ended their and he continued to call me to different places at different times to stifle the fire of his body. Going to a hotel room with him and the look the receptionist gave me made me feel like a call girl a whore who sells her body in exchange of money. So one day I decided to end that and for the first time I say no to him just to get a tight slap and to be forcefully raped inside his car.
That day for the first time I felt like taking a wrong decision. As our marriage day got closer he became the gentlemen I loved in the first look making me feel like he had changed but  that was one more trick of his to take hold of the chain of my life.
My parents gave him a lot of gifts and cash as dowry as promised and even funded the tickets for our honeymoon in Switzerland which name he was not able to pronounce correctly. For next two three moths life went with romance and pleasure life the silence before a tsunami. His family started forcing me to ask my parents for more dowry for my expenses in their house. For first two three times my father gave what he could arranged but at last he had nothing left. Thee torture was getting worse day by day. My husband stated beating me on small issue. His demand on bed with animalistic behaviour was becoming hard for me to bear. Every night I was getting rapped on my own house own bed by my one husband but I had to share my pain.
Whenever his senior came to our place he used me as a slave. Asking me to prepare drink for them and even sometime under the influence of alcohol he pulled my sari in front of them and touching my body making me feel like a striper. Inside the close door I cried everytime when his friends knocked the door like they were going to rape me. I had started hating my life thinking of committing suicide but my parents face stopped me. I thought of taking the help of law but putting my own family on the court pulled my step back. I was waiting for someone who could hold my hand pulling me out of the muddy life.
One day gathering courage I asked my husband,” Can I work outside to earn some money?”
With a laugh he said,” Dhanda karna chahati ho (you want to be a prostitute)?”
I said in a trembling voice,” No, I am thinking of teaching in a school or college.”
Nodding his head he said,” Ok, let me talk to someone for you. But I warn you if you started playing with me I will tear out your skin.”
In next seven days I got a job in a college in a nearby city as an English lecturer. Initially I thought he would drop me to my collage but he was not bothered about that. After making breakfast for him put some juice in my empty stomach and ran to the bus stand. The bus was so crowded that keeping a step inside was difficult. But still I went inside thinking of not reaching late on my first day. Standing between men in the tight bus I was feeling uncomfortable every time the driver pulled the break. Knowingly the guy fall over my back touching his part on my back. I was about to scream in tears when a boy  in his early twenty sitting on the seat near me got uo and said,” Ma’am if you don’t mind you can sit hear.” Giving a sarcastic look to the guy standing behind me. I took his seat giving him a smile.
After two stoppage when the bus took a heavy break the guy touching me scream loudly in pain. Everyone asked him what happened but he didn’t spoke a line.no one knew what happened to him except me and the boy. I saw the boy crunching his ball with his hand and when he saw me looking at him he left him with a smile in his face. I smiled back thanking him. When I reached the spot I looked for him to thank in words but he was gone like a smoke in the air.
Reaching collage I met the principal and taking the time chart I went for my class. I was about to teach final year students of engineering. When I put my foot inside the whole cheered like a celebrity entered to the red carpet. Making them silent I started to discuss about the topic they had already completed to easy my load.
I was writing the name of the chapter I was going to teach them the next day when a guy entered inside and went to his seat like I was not even present in the class. When I asked who came late he stood of when our eyes met we both had no words to say. He was the same guy from the bus who saved me from that pervert. Asking him to meet outside I left the class and he followed me.
Outside I asked him,” you came with me in the same bus right but why you are late for the class.”
Scratching his head he said,” Ma’am! First sorry for my behaviour there. And about being late I was stuck somewhere.” 
I laughed at his attitude and said,” I don’t want you to come late from next day. And cut your hairs you are looking like a girl from back.”
He smiled and left.
The next day when I reached for the bus crowd was same as before but the boy again gave his seat to me. We talked all the way till the bus reached. And it started happening every day. From his talk I notice what he pretend to be from outside was not same from his heart. He attended every class of mine looking at my face without diverting his eyes from mine even making me feel awkward some time when our eyes met.
With passage of time we were getting closer and one day I saw him waiting on a bike. When I asked whom he was waiting he blushed and ask me to seat. From that day he picked and dropped me every day like a friend. The little age gape was making us feel equal and we were sharing every ting with each other.
One day while coming back I felt like vomiting and asked him to stop the bike. He thought I had food poisoning but I knew I was pregnant but I didn’t told him. He dropped me till my house that day and left.
Thinking everything would become wright after our first baby I told my husband that I was pregnant. But his reaction shocked me. He was not happy but became red in anger and slapped me holding my hair. When I asked him why he was doing all that.
He said,” Whose sin you are carrying inside. I know it’s not mine and even know whom it belongs. It is of the boy with whom you goes to collage right. After marriage you were not able to meet so you fooled me of working out side.”
He continued,” Tell me for how long you are sleeping with him or I will kill you.”
In a sobbing I voice I tried to explain that he was the person who took my virginity before marriage and now accusing me of betrayal. How much I cry before him saying I never even imagined of any other men except him he didn’t listen.
The next day he took me to the hospital and aborted the child even after my resistance. For next 7 days I slept on the bed crying my heart out thinking about the little life I was about to brought to this world.
One day when my husband was not at home my phone rang flashing an unknown number. When I picked a voice of a guy came from that side. Telling my name he asked if I was she and when I nodded he said,” what happened to you? Why are you not coming to college? Did you health still not ok? Should I come to meet you?”
From the voice I realised I was him the guy from my collage I wanted to meet him and tell him everything but I didn’t wanted to put him in trouble. So I cut the call and he also dint tried to call back again. This time when I returned to collage my husband came to drop me.
At college I tried to ignore him. Intestinally not looking at him in class, leaving directly to faculty chamber, hiding eye contact. It went for 3 days like god had planned to bring the angel in my life to save me from all the misery the whole class had bunked. When I entered to the class no one was there except him. He was seating on the corner and closed the door. I was afraid of what he was going to do but what he did my heart had never expected. Holding my hands he sat me on the bench and asked why I was ignoring him.
His emotional voice melted my heart. I hugged him and cried like a baby. Unable to understand the situation he kept asking me to calm down but when I didn’t stopped he kissed on my lips making my sobbing stopped. His touch felt like ice over my burring heart. When I tear stopped he removed his lips from mine and repeat his question.
This time I described everything that was happing with me from the day I met him. The rapes, the torture, and the abortion everything word by word I narrated him. Anger came out from his eyes as tears.
Holding my hands he said,” You may thing I am trying to take advantage of you knowing your situation but from the first day when I saw you in the bus I fell in your love. Every beat of my heart speaking only your name. I Love you just say these three words once and I will fight with the world to bring out of from the pit and give you all the happiness you deserve making you mine.”
I said,” I too like you but we can’t became one. My husband is a very bad man he will put you in lots of trouble. So you have to forget me. In next few days I am going to quit the collage too.” And left the room crying.
From that day our friendship took a different mood I was not able to resist to talk to him when my husband was outside. After quitting the collage I started spend whole day with him over phone. The cloud of sadness were vanishing from my head and I was spending more time smiling. With my changed behaviour my husband started doubting me. He put his constable behind me to see where I was going.
One such day when I went to a park to meet my love his informers called him. We were sitting on a bench eating ice cream when a few police man pulled his collar from the back and started slapping him. They put him in the van and took to the station before my husband. When I reached there by auto he was inside the lockup getting beaten by my husband’s belt. But not a single drop of regrets or fear was in eye. Seeing me there his anger touched the sky and he left him and came outside. He put a tight slap on my cheek making me fall on the ground.
He was still silent not a single word coming from his mouth. Like he was waiting for something. And after few minutes my husband’s phone rang bringing nervousness on his face. His words were shaking when he was talking and continuously looking towards the lockup. When the call ended he was wet in sweat and opened the door of the lock of asking for excuse from the boy.
At the mean time an advocate came with a file and asked my husband to sign and without reading with his trembling hand he signed. Coming out of the lockup the boy took the file from his hand and sat near me and asked me to sign. I followed his words without thinking. After that he asked the advocate,” Submit it in the court and apply for her divorce.”
I was confused looking at his face while he hold my hand and brought out of the police station. He whispered in my ear,” You are free now. He will never dare to look at you.”
Out of curiosity I asked him,” Who are you.”
With a smile he said,” you will know in a week.”
I directly went back to my father’s house and told them everything. They were shocked but happy that I was saved from that devil. After five days when my divorce was approved two cars stopped before our house. That was he with his father the union minister of our state. My eyes remained open that he never made me feel that his father was a big man. Respect for him increased inside my heart.
His parents talked to mine asking my hand for their son. But when they turned to me I nodded my head saying yes. Within one month we get married and went for our honeymoon. While reading the newspaper I saw a news about my ex-husband getting killed by Maoist and showed him. He smiled and kissed on my forehead and I smiled back.